One of the most common questions I get asked when people find out I’m a wedding registrar is:
“Ooh, do you get to stay for the cake and the party?”
It always makes me smile. I suppose from the outside, it looks like a very glamorous job—we turn up at beautiful venues, dressed smartly, speaking heartfelt words, and presiding over one of the most joyful moments in a couple’s life. So it’s understandable that people assume we get to enjoy the celebrations too!
But here’s the truth: we don’t stay.
Once the ceremony is complete, the couple is announced joyfully back down the aisle—hand in hand,—we quietly pack away our things, offer our congratulations, and leave.
We’re not there for the prosecco or the canapés. Our role is simple, focused, and incredibly special: we’re there to legally marry the couple.
Why Don’t Registrars Stay?
We’re professionals carrying out a legal duty, and we often have more than one ceremony to officiate in one day and we have to return your all important signed paperwork to our office so that your marriage certificate can be produced and sent to you in a timely fashion.
That said, there have been times I’ve stayed—but only when I’ve been invited as a guest in a personal capacity.
If I’m performing the ceremony for a friend or relative, I will stay and raise a glass or enjoy a lovely meal, but that’s the exception, not the rule.
Couples sometimes do kindly invite us to join them, which is always a lovely gesture. But we politely decline. This is your day, to share with your close friends and family.
Our presence is there to mark the official beginning of your marriage—not to join in the dancing afterward.
The Beauty of Our Role
While we may not stay for the cake, we’re incredibly honoured to be part of one of the most important moments in your life. We get to witness your vows, your laughter (and sometimes tears), and the start of your journey together. Then, we slip away, leaving you to enjoy your first moments as newlyweds surrounded by those who love you most.
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