To Be Given Away or Not? The Choice is Yours

 

To Be Given Away or Not? The Choice is Yours

One of the most recognizable wedding traditions is the idea of a bride being “given away” as she walks down the aisle. In UK civil ceremonies, this is entirely optional, and couples have complete freedom to decide whether they want to include this element in their wedding. Some embrace the tradition, while others prefer a more modern approach. So, what are the reasons that couples have shared with me for keeping or skipping this part of the ceremony?

Keeping the Tradition

For many, being walked down the aisle is a cherished moment. Some brides choose to uphold the tradition because:

• It’s a sentimental family moment – Being accompanied by a parent, (traditionally Dad), can be a touching and emotional experience.
• It honours tradition – Some couples appreciate the symbolism and want to maintain the formalities.
• It can be a sign of support – For some, it’s not about being “given away” but rather about having a loved one by their side during a significant moment.

For those who choose this, they may also wish to include the traditional wording, where the person accompanying the bride is asked: "Who gives the brides hand in marriage?" – though this, too, is completely optional.

A view from the Registrars Desk at the end of the aisle

A Modern Take on the Aisle Walk

Many couples prefer to move away from the historical idea of "giving away" and instead see the walk down the aisle as a personal choice rather than a formal handover. Some alternative approaches at weddings I have conducted include:

• Choosing a different companion – If a bride’s father is not present, or she prefers someone else, she can be accompanied by anyone meaningful to her—her mum, brother, child, a close friend, or even both parents.
• Walking down together – Some couples, particularly in same-sex weddings, walk down the aisle together as a symbol of equality and partnership.
• Walking solo – Some brides and grooms opt to enter alone, making a statement about independence and personal choice.

At a recent wedding I conducted, both grooms were accompanied down the aisle by their mothers—a beautiful and touching moment that reflected their families' love and support.

No Right or Wrong Way

Ultimately, the choice is entirely up to the couple. In a UK civil wedding, there are no rules dictating who must walk whom down the aisle, or whether any wording must be included. You will get to include this in what you submit to your Registration office in relation to your ceremony details. You can even change your mind on the day and decide to include the traditional wording if you have had a change of heart. What matters most is that the ceremony reflects the couple’s values, personalities, and wishes.

So, whether you embrace tradition, tweak it to fit your style, or throw it out the window entirely—your wedding should be a moment that feels truly yours.

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