Tears, Vows, and Love: Embracing Emotions on Your Wedding Day

 

Tears, Vows, and Love: Embracing Emotions on Your Wedding Day

As a wedding registrar, I have had the privilege of witnessing countless beautiful ceremonies, each unique in its own way. But one thing remains constant—weddings are emotional! While many assume that brides are the ones most likely to shed a tear, we often see grooms overcome with emotion, particularly when it comes to exchanging vows.

The Power of Vows

There is something incredibly profound about standing in front of your loved ones, declaring your commitment to your partner. Even the most composed individuals can find themselves choked up when reading their vows aloud. The weight of the moment, the love in the room, and the significance of the words often all come together to create an overwhelming experience.

Let the Emotions Flow

I always encourage couples to embrace their emotions rather than hold them back and I mention this in my pre ceremony interview. "If you feel yourself getting emotional...." I will say......"go with it....". 

Tears of joy, laughter, and heartfelt words are what make a ceremony truly special. These moments create cherished memories, not just for the couple but for everyone present. 

It’s a reminder that weddings are not just about formalities—they are about love!

A Handy Pack of Tissues

Because we know how touching these moments can be, we always recommend having a packet of tissues nearby (in fact we have a packet in our folders).

Some couples choose to put a small packet on guests chairs in the ceremony room, often personalised with a note along the lines of "for your happy tears...." 

Whether it’s the bride, groom, parents, bridesmaids or the guests, you never know who might need them! 

It’s perfectly normal and natural to get teary-eyed, and having tissues at hand means you can wipe away happy tears and carry on with your beautiful ceremony.

A Ceremony to Remember

If you’re worried about getting too emotional, don’t be! Take a deep breath, focus on your partner, and let the moment unfold. Your registrar is there to support you, and your guests will be rooting for you every step of the way. After all, a few tears only make the day more memorable and meaningful.

So, if you’re preparing for your wedding day, know that emotions are welcome and celebrated. Bring those tissues, hold onto your partner’s hand, and enjoy every second of this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Love is a beautiful thing, and your wedding ceremony is the perfect time to express it—tears and all!

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The Tradition of Ink

 

The Tradition of Ink: Why Marriage Schedules Must Be Signed in Fountain Pen with Indelible Registrar's Ink ⬟

For many couples in the UK, signing their marriage schedule (replaced the marriage register in 2021) is a symbolic and official act that makes their marriage legal and binding. 

But have you ever wondered why this important document must be signed using a fountain pen with indelible registrar’s ink and not just a biro or ball point pen? This seemingly small detail is steeped in history, practicality, and a commitment to preserving legal records for generations to come.

A Legacy of Permanence ✍

The requirement for using indelible ink in official registration documents dates back to the 19th century when the system of civil registration was formalised. The need for permanent and unalterable records was of upmost importance, particularly for events such as recording births, deaths, and marriages. In an age before digital databases and records, these paper records were the only proof of such significant life events. Ensuring their durability and longevity was a matter of legal and historical necessity.

The Role of Fountain Pens 🖋

Fountain pens, rather than biros, are the mandated choice for signing marriage schedules because they deliver a controlled flow of ink. This helps ensure a clear signature without the risk of smudging, or fading over time. Ballpoint pens, which use oil-based ink, can fade or be removed more easily, whereas traditional fountain pen ink, particularly when combined with registrars' ink, bonds to the paper fibres much more effectively.

The Importance of Indelible Ink 🖎

Indelible registrar’s ink is a specially formulated ink that is designed to be permanent and resistant to fading, tampering, or damage. The ink is usually iron gall-based, a type of ink historically used for important documents, manuscripts, and legal records. Once dried, it becomes an integral part of the paper, making alterations nearly impossible without visible signs of interference.

Preventing Fraud and Ensuring Authenticity 

The use of fountain pens with indelible ink serves a crucial legal function—preventing forgery and fraud. Official records must be tamper-proof to protect individuals’ rights and historical accuracy. 

A Ritual That Stands the Test of Time

Beyond the legal and practical reasons, the act of signing in fountain pen has become part of the tradition and formality of the marriage registration process. It connects today’s couples with centuries of history, reinforcing the significance of the moment. There’s something profoundly symbolic about using an instrument and ink that will outlast the couple themselves, securing their commitment in ink that will not fade.

I have lost count of the number of couples (and witnesses) who have said to me, as I hand them a fountain pen to sign, "ooooh I have not used one of these since school". 

Younger couples and witnesses may have never previously written with a fountain pen even!

Top Tips - no need to press on the nib too hard and hold the pen at a 45 degree angle. 🎔

What Does This Mean for Your Wedding? 

If you’re getting married, you don’t need to worry about bringing your own special pen—your wedding registrar will come prepared with a fountain pen (and a spare!) filled with the correct ink, ready to go. This ensures that your marriage schedule is signed in compliance with legal requirements and is preserved for future generations.

So, when you hold that fountain pen and sign your name on your wedding day, know that you’re not just completing a formality—you’re contributing to a centuries-old tradition of careful, lasting record-keeping

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Why Small and Intimate Registry Office Weddings Are So Special – Tales from the Registrar’s Table

There is something truly special about small and intimate weddings at the registry office. As registrars, we have the privilege of witnessing love in all its forms, and while grand celebrations have their charm and lots of the venues we visit are gorgeous, it’s often these intimate ceremonies that leave the deepest impression on us.

A Real-Life Intimate Wedding Story

Recently, I had the honour of conducting a wedding that perfectly captured the beauty of a simple, meaningful civil ceremony. The couple had been together for 19 years and chose to mark their journey with a low-key yet deeply personal celebration at the Registration Office. Their guest list was short but sweet: just the two of them, their 18-year-old son, and the bride’s mother.

Personal Touches That Made It Truly Memorable

Despite the modest numbers, tradition and personal touches played a huge role in their day. The bride was walked down the aisle by her mum, who also had the honour of ‘giving her away.’ Their son took on multiple roles, acting as best man, ring bearer, and delivering a heartfelt reading that added to the emotional depth of the ceremony. Both he and the bride’s mother also served as witnesses, further cementing their roles in this intimate yet momentous occasion.

Music choices reflected the couple’s journey together, filling the room with nostalgia and love. The groom, overcome with emotion, struggled to get through his vows—a moment that reminded us why we do what we do. Love, in its truest form, isn’t about the size of the guest list but about the depth of connection between two people.

Capturing Precious Moments in Small Weddings

As registrars, we are often the unofficial photographers for small weddings, and my colleague and I were delighted to capture precious moments for the couple on their phones. These are the kind of ceremonies that stay with us long after the ‘I do.’ When they hugged me as they left, I felt a wave of joy that carried me through the rest of the day.

Why Choose a Small Registry Office Wedding?

Small weddings have a way of stripping back the pomp and grandeur, leaving behind the purest essence of what a wedding is truly about—love, commitment, and the people who matter most. If you’re considering an intimate wedding, know that it will be just as meaningful, if not more so, than any grand affair. And as registrars, we will always cherish the opportunity to be part of your beautiful journey.

💍 Thinking of Going Small?

If you're planning a small civil wedding or a registry office ceremony, I would love to hear from you. Share your thoughts or questions in the comments below—and stay tuned for more real-life stories and reflections from the registrar’s desk.

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About Me – Tales from the Registrar’s Desk - More than just the legal bit

Welcome!

Hi, I’m Kirsty and I have the absolute joy of working as a part-time wedding registrar in for a local council in the United Kingdom. By day, I work with university data Monday to Friday, but on weekends, I step into a completely different world one filled with love, celebration, and unforgettable moments.

Being a registrar is the perfect counterbalance to my weekday job. Where data is logical and structured, weddings are emotional, unpredictable, and full of personality. I love the contrast spending my weekends surrounded by couples as they take one of the biggest steps in their lives is a truly special way to spend my time.

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What You’ll Find Here

💍 My experiences from the wedding aisle – the heart warming, the unexpected, and everything in between.
🎤 Tips on personalising your ceremony – because your vows should be more than just a legal formality.
📖 Behind-the-scenes insights – what a registrar actually does (spoiler: it’s more than you think!).
💡 Advice for couples – how to make the most of your registrar-led wedding and create a ceremony that feels truly yours.

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Why “More Than Just the Legal Bit”?

The ceremony is often seen as just the necessary step before the big party, but it’s so much more than that. Your wedding is a celebration of your love, and the ceremony itself should be just as special as the rest of the day.

I want to show couples that, even within a legally binding ceremony, there are so many ways to make it personal and meaningful. Whether it’s through carefully chosen vows, music, readings, or small personal touches, you can turn your ceremony into a moment you’ll cherish forever.

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Let’s Connect!

I’d love to hear from you, whether you’re planning your wedding, already married, or just love a good wedding story. Feel free to leave a comment & share your experiences or get in touch.

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy Tales from the Registrar’s Desk!

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