More Than Just the Legal Bit – How to Personalise Your Registrar-Led Ceremony

 

When couples book their wedding with a registrar, many assume they’re signing up for a simple, standard script just the legal words, a quick exchange of rings, and then off to the party. But here’s the secret: a registrar-led ceremony can be so much more than that.

As a wedding registrar in the North of England, I’ve seen couples transform their ceremonies into deeply personal, emotional, and unforgettable moments, all while keeping things legally binding. 
If you think you have to choose between a legally recognised ceremony and a meaningful, customised one, think again! Here’s how you can bring personality and heart into your ceremony without stepping outside the bounds of a registrar-led wedding.

1. Your Vows – More Than Just ‘I Do’
Yes, there are a few legal words that must be said, but beyond that? The vows you exchange can be as personal, romantic, or even humorous as you want them to be.
✨ Ideas to personalise your vows:

• Write your own vows (or tweak traditional ones to reflect your personalities).

• Share a memory, a promise, or something unique about your relationship.

• If you’re nervous about speaking, ask the registrar to phrase them as questions so you just say, “I do!”

💡 Example: Instead of the usual “I promise to love and cherish you,” you could say, “I promise to always make you tea exactly how you like it and to pretend to listen when you talk about football.”

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2. Readings: Bring in Words That Matter to You
You don’t have to stick to formal poetry if it’s not your style! Readings are a great way to bring in something meaningful, and your registrar can include almost anything, except religious content (due to legal restrictions).
📖 Ideas for readings:

• A passage from your favourite book or film.

• Lyrics from a song that means something to you.

• A funny or heartfelt quote that sums up your relationship.

• A reading by a close friend or family member to make it even more special.

💡 Example: A couple I married recently chose a passage from Winnie the Pooh because it reminded them of their friendship before they fell in love, everyone in the room teared up!

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3. Music: Set the Right Mood
You’re not limited to traditional wedding marches! Music can make a huge difference in setting the atmosphere.
🎶 Ways to include music:

• A meaningful song for walking down the aisle.

• A special piece of music while signing the register.

• A fun, upbeat song for your exit as newlyweds!

💡 Example: I once had a couple walk down the aisle to Can’t Help Falling in Love and exit to Signed, Sealed, Delivered perfect for the occasion!

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4. Involving Family & Friends
Your ceremony isn’t just about you, it’s about celebrating with the people you love.
👥 Ways to include them:

• Have a close friend or family member do a reading.

• Involve children or pets (if allowed at your venue!).

• Acknowledge loved ones who couldn’t be there with a moment of reflection.

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5. Adding a Special Moment
Want something unique? There are lots of symbolic gestures that can be included in a registrar-led wedding.
💍 Ideas for unique touches:

• A sand ceremony (becoming increasingly popular and can add modern twist to a traditional ceremony. It can also be a wonderful way to show a visual representation of the joining of a couple or blending of families.)

• A handfasting (to take place after the legal vows).

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Your wedding ceremony is more than just a formality. It is the moment where you say this is us. And with a registrar-led ceremony, you can still add love, laughter, and personal touches while keeping things official.
If you’re planning your wedding, don’t settle for ticking the box. Talk to your registration office ask about options, and create a ceremony that truly reflects you. Because at the end of the day, it’s more than just the legal bit: it’s the start of your forever.
💬 What personal touches are you adding to your ceremony? Let me know in the comments!

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Love Rekindled: A Remarkable Reunion Wedding After Divorce

 Love Finds a Way – Even After Divorce

In my nine years as a wedding registrar, I’ve been privileged to witness hundreds of weddings, each one special in its own way.

A few weekends ago, I conducted a ceremony that will stay with me for a long time.

It was only the second time in nearly a decade that I’ve seen a couple remarry each other after divorcing. And what made it even more moving was the simplicity and emotion that was evident in the ceremony room.

The couple had originally married in 19**, in a church ceremony surrounded by loved ones. Life, as it sometimes does, brought challenges, and in 2011, after 2* years of marriage, they divorced.

But their story didn’t end there. Just one year later, they found their way back to each other.

They realised that, despite everything, they were better together. That they still loved each other and always had. In 2025, they decided to make it official again, and this time, it was just the two of them, their two grown-up children acting as witnesses, and their grandchildren.

No grand announcements, no fuss. In fact, they hadn’t told anyone else about their plans, not family, not friends, not colleagues. The ceremony was held at our local registry office, intimate and full of meaning. 

After they left the Registry Office, they were heading out for pizza as a family. 

Then, and only then, they planned to text their wider circle: 

“We got married. Again.”

As a registrar, I like to remain calm and composed, but I’ll admit this one got me. The bride and groom were visibly emotional throughout, their eyes brimming with tears. It wasn’t just about vows or paperwork; it was about the rare chance to start again with the same person, wiser and more certain.

These are the stories I cherish most: the unexpected ones, the second chances, the quiet declarations of lifelong love.

Weddings come in all shapes and sizes, but sometimes the smallest ones carry the biggest feelings.

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Heartfelt Ukrainian-Romanian Wedding Ceremony | Registrar Reflections

A Saturday Morning Ceremony Filled with Love 💜💛

There are days in my role as Deputy Superintendent Registrar (DSR) that stay with me  and a couple of Saturday's ago was certainly one of them.

At 10:30am on what turned out to be a beautifully sunny Saturday morning, I had the honour of conducting a wedding ceremony at my local registration office that triggered me to write this blog.

The couple, a lovely pairing of Ukrainian and Romanian heritage, had chosen to keep things really simple — a decision that made the entire event feel all the more sincere and meaningful.

With just ten guests joining them, the room was filled with warmth, affection,  laughter, nervous smiles and so much joy.

Bouquets of flowers had been constructed from bunches of flowers from the local Tesco.

English was a second language for both the bride and groom, so we kept the ceremony straightforward and personal, allowing their love — not the words — to do most of the talking. And truly, it did.

We rehearsed the pronunciation of their names ahead of the ceremony and the thumbs up from the Groom during the ceremony made me smile that I had nailed it! Phew!

Their family and friends couldn’t have been kinder. Each thank you, each smile, each handshake, each hug shared with me after the ceremony reminded me why I love what I do.

While I often travel to beautiful venues across the county, which is a fabulous part of my role, sometimes it’s these smaller, more intimate ceremonies that shine the brightest and stay with me long after I have driven home.

This couple didn’t need grand flower arches or elaborate speeches. What they had was something far more powerful: genuine connection, heartfelt emotion, lots and lots of love and the unwavering support of those closest to them.

They left the office hand in hand, smiling, on their way to celebrate over a traditional Romanian meal with their guests (they invited me to go along which was such a lovely thing for them to do, I politely declined)

I left with my heart full, reminded that love in its simplest form is often the most profound.

There was truly no place I would rather have been on a Saturday morning.

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Something Blue: The Enduring Charm of a Wedding Day Tradition

Weddings are full of time-honoured traditions, and one of the most beloved in the UK (and beyond) is the charming rhyme:

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe.”

As a registrar, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing many personal and creative interpretations of this rhyme—especially the “something blue.”

Traditionally, blue symbolises purity, love, and fidelity—all core values in a marriage. In ancient Rome, brides wore blue to show modesty and faithfulness. 

In Christianity, the Virgin Mary is often depicted in blue robes, reinforcing the association with purity. 

This symbolism was embraced in Victorian times when the rhyme first became popular, and it continues to resonate today.

Modern Twists on a Timeless Symbol
While the garter has long been the go-to “something blue,” today’s couples are putting their own spin on this classic. I’ve seen brides with:

💙Blue-soled shoes peeking out from beneath their dress

💙Sapphire earrings gifted by Nan

💙A blue ribbon sewn into the hem of their gown

💙Hand-tied bouquets with blue flowers or blue ribbon

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And most memorably—one bride wore a dazzling pair of blue Converse boots (a brilliant blend of personality and tradition)!

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These personal touches make the tradition more meaningful and unique. 

For some, the blue item is a tribute to a loved one or a nod to heritage; for others, it’s simply a way to bring a splash of colour and joy to the day.

Are Couples Still Following the Tradition?

Yes—and more creatively than ever. While some brides stick closely to the rhyme, others reinterpret it, incorporating blue in subtle or striking ways. 

It’s less about superstition and more about celebrating continuity, connection, and individuality.
As a registrar, it’s lovely to see how couples honour the past while making it their own. After all, that’s what weddings are about—creating something new from something cherished.

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Have you seen a unique “something blue”? I’d love to hear your stories or see your photos! Share them in the comments or tag me on Instagram.

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Pride Month - June 2025. A reflection.

The Road to Equality: A Short Timeline of Same-Sex Marriage in England

💖💛💚💙💜💖💛💚💙💜💖💛💚💙💜💖💛💚💙💜

It’s been a journey paved with both legal change and social courage. Here’s a brief look at how same-sex unions became part of our registry records:

💖2004: The Civil Partnership Act is passed, offering same-sex couples legal recognition — with rights similar to marriage, but without the name.

💛2005: The first civil partnerships take place. 

💚2013: The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act is passed in England and Wales, allowing same-sex couples to legally marry.

💙2014: The first same-sex marriages take place.

💜2019: Civil partnerships are extended to opposite-sex couples, making love and legal commitment inclusive in every direction.

Each date represents not just policy, but people — couples who had waited, hoped, and in some cases, fought for the right to simply stand before their loved ones and say: “This is the person I choose.”

🏳️‍🌈 What Pride Means from This Side of the Desk

For me, Pride is more than a flag or a parade. It’s the steady turning of the tide:

one ceremony, one kiss at a time

It’s hearing a grandmother say, “I never thought I’d see the day” — and realising that this day, today, is exactly what progress looks like.

It’s knowing that every signature I witness, every ring exchanged, every nervous laugh, is a small, sacred part of something bigger. A reminder that love, in its truest form, doesn’t ask permission.

✍️ Looking Back, Looking Forward

As we celebrate Pride this June, I remember the sheer courage of couples who dared to love openly and for those that never got the chance to express their love in this way.

To anyone reading this — whether you’re planning your wedding, remembering your civil partnership, or simply reflecting on how far we’ve come — thank you. You’re part of a story that continues to grow more inclusive, more joyful, and more real every day.

And to my fellow registrars: keep the tissues handy. Love is a beautiful thing to witness.

With pride and a very full heart

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Why People Bury a Sausage Before Their Wedding (And Other Weather Warding Wonders)

When it comes to weddings, every couple hopes for the perfect day—and for many, that means sunshine, blue skies, and not a cloud in sight. But what if the weather forecast looks a bit like this last weekend has been… soggy?

Some couples, rather than relying solely on hope, turn to a rather curious tradition: burying a sausage the night before the wedding.

Yes, you read that right. A sausage. 
A Tasty Tradition?
This quirky weather-prevention ritual reportedly began in parts of Europe (particularly Austria and Germany), where burying a sausage—often a bratwurst or other pork variety—was believed to win over the weather gods. In some cases, the groom or the best man buries the sausage in the garden of the ceremony or reception venue, usually the night before the wedding.

The act is said to be a playful (and slightly superstitious) way to ward off rain on the big day.

But does it work? That depends on who you ask! Some couples swear by it, while others may end up with a soggy sausage and a soggy ceremony.

But Isn’t Rain on Your Wedding Day… Lucky?
If you’ve read my previous post, Rain on Your Wedding Day? Here’s Why It’s Lucky, you’ll know that rain has traditionally been viewed as a lucky omen, after all a wet knot is harder to untie!

So while I understand the desire for blue skies and sunny smiles in the wedding photos, a little rain might not be the bad omen it’s often feared to be.

Superstitions and Sentiment
Wedding traditions are full of these wonderfully weird rituals—from burying sausages to wearing “something blue.” 

Whether or not you believe they work, they do serve a purpose: they make your wedding feel personal, meaningful, and steeped in a sense of fun.

So if burying a sausage gives you a laugh, a bit of hope the night before the wedding or a story to tell in years to come, go ahead. 

Just remember where you put it, or the venue gardeners might have a few questions. 

Registrar's Take
As someone who’s stood at the front of more ceremonies than I can count, I’ve seen all kinds of weather—and all kinds of ways couples make the best of it. Whether you're rain-drenched, sun-kissed, or somewhere in between, it's the love, not the forecast, that makes your day unforgettable.

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Do Wedding Registrars Stay for the Reception? Here's What Really Happens After the Ceremony

One of the most common questions I get asked when people find out I’m a wedding registrar is:

“Ooh, do you get to stay for the cake and the party?”

It always makes me smile. I suppose from the outside, it looks like a very glamorous job—we turn up at beautiful venues, dressed smartly, speaking heartfelt words, and presiding over one of the most joyful moments in a couple’s life. So it’s understandable that people assume we get to enjoy the celebrations too!

But here’s the truth: we don’t stay.

Once the ceremony is complete, the couple is announced joyfully back down the aisle—hand in hand,—we quietly pack away our things, offer our congratulations, and leave. 

We’re not there for the prosecco or the canapés. Our role is simple, focused, and incredibly special: we’re there to legally marry the couple.

Why Don’t Registrars Stay?

We’re professionals carrying out a legal duty, and we often have more than one ceremony to officiate in one day and we have to return your all important signed paperwork to our office so that your marriage certificate can be produced and sent to you in a timely fashion.

That said, there have been times I’ve stayed—but only when I’ve been invited as a guest in a personal capacity. 

If I’m performing the ceremony for a friend or relative, I will stay and raise a glass or enjoy a lovely meal, but that’s the exception, not the rule.

Couples sometimes do kindly invite us to join them, which is always a lovely gesture. But we politely decline. This is your day, to share with your close friends and family. 

Our presence is there to mark the official beginning of your marriage—not to join in the dancing afterward.

The Beauty of Our Role
While we may not stay for the cake, we’re incredibly honoured to be part of one of the most important moments in your life. We get to witness your vows, your laughter (and sometimes tears), and the start of your journey together. Then, we slip away, leaving you to enjoy your first moments as newlyweds surrounded by those who love you most.

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What Should a Bride (or Groom) Do with the Bouquet at the End of the Aisle?

The music plays, the guests stand, and all eyes are on you as you walk down the aisle, bouquet in hand. But once you reach the front and all the attention turns to the vows and the ceremony… what exactly do you do with those beautiful flowers?

It’s a question I get asked more often than you might think — and the answer is refreshingly simple: there’s no right or wrong. As a Registrar, I’m here to guide you, but when it comes to your bouquet, you’re free to do whatever feels most natural to you in the moment.

Let’s look at a few options that many choose — and how I make sure your flowers stay a lovely part of your ceremony and photos.

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Why the Bouquet Moment Matters in Your Ceremony

Your bouquet is more than just a bunch of flowers — it’s part of your outfit, your colour scheme, and often has sentimental value. Whether it’s filled with favourite blooms, seasonal touches, or a nod to a loved one, it deserves a little thought when planning your ceremony.

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Do You Have to Hand Over Your Flowers?

Not at all! You are welcome to keep holding your bouquet for as long as you like. Some brides feel more comfortable keeping it in their hands until the vows begin, while others are ready to hand it over the moment they arrive at the front. Either choice is absolutely fine.

***Top Top: if you have real flowers in your / your bridesmaids bouquet, ask someone to take them out of the water 30 mins or so ahead of the ceremony to avoid drips on your dresses!!***

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Option 1: Keep Holding Your Bouquet Until the Vows

Many brides choose to hold onto their bouquet until the moment the vows begin. There’s something reassuring about having something in your hands while all eyes are on you — and it looks beautiful in those early ceremony photos.

When we’re ready to begin the legal part of the ceremony, I’ll gently ask for your flowers so you can focus on the words (and your partner!). I’ll look after them and make sure they are carefully placed on the Registrars Desk.

Option 2: Pass It to the Registrar When You Arrive

If you’d rather be hands-free from the moment you arrive at the front, that’s completely fine too. You can hand your bouquet straight to me, and again I will make sure again that it is placed lovingly on the Registrars Desk for those post ceremony photographs.

Some brides prefer this option so they can hold hands, take a breath, and be fully present — especially if nerves are kicking in.

Option 3: Hand It to a Bridesmaid or Loved One

If you’d like to keep things within your wedding party or family, you might hand your bouquet to a bridesmaid, a sibling, or even Mum or Dad on the front row. It’s a lovely, informal gesture, and again — completely your choice.

If the bouquet ends up with a bridesmaid, I’ll give them a discreet nod when it’s time to bring it up for the signing table photos later on.

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What Happens to the Bouquet During the Ceremony?

No matter who’s looking after it, I always make sure the bouquet finds its way onto the Registrar’s table for the signing of the schedule. It’s a lovely pop of colour and adds a personal touch to those all-important signing photos.

And don’t worry — once everything’s signed and sealed, I’ll hand your bouquet back to you before you’re announced and walk back down the aisle together as newlyweds.

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The Walk Back Down the Aisle: Hold That Bouquet High!

This is your moment! As you take those joyful steps back down the aisle, bouquet in hand, hold it high and proud. It’s part of your outfit, part of your celebration, and makes for stunning photos — full of movement, joy, and colour.

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Final Thoughts: It’s Your Day, Your Way

At the end of the day, there’s no “correct” way to handle your bouquet. Whether you keep it close, hand it to someone special, or pass it to me the moment you arrive, what matters most is that you feel comfortable and confident.

As your Registrar, I’m here to support you — bouquet included! So do whatever feels right in the moment, and trust that it will all come together beautifully.

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Why You Sign Your Maiden Name at a UK Civil Wedding Ceremony

 

One of the most common questions I’m asked as a registrar is: “Do I sign my new married name on the day?” The answer might surprise you — no, you don’t.

At a UK civil wedding or civil partnership ceremony, you sign the marriage schedule with the name you walked into the ceremony room with — even if you plan on changing your surname after the ceremony. 

For example, if Miss Alice Leech marries Mr Harold Whittingham, she will still sign as Miss Alice Leech on the day, even if she later becomes Mrs Alice Whittingham.

There’s a very good reason for this. A marriage or civil partnership does not automatically change your name — and there is no legal requirement to change it at all. It’s entirely your choice. You can:

• Take your spouse’s surname
• Double-barrel both surnames
• Keep your current name
• Or even choose a completely new surname

Green feather quill pen with small pot of ink placed on His / Her Vow cards

If you do decide to change your name, it's your responsibility to notify all relevant organisations — such as your bank, Passport Office, DVLA, Drs, DWP, and so on. The registration service does not do this for you.

White fountain pen on a white envelope with gold "Wedding Certificate" printed on it

Planning a Name Change After Marriage? Here's My Advice:

If you’re planning to update your name, we recommend ordering a few extra copies of your marriage certificate. These are often needed as proof when updating official records, and it’s easier to order them at the time of registration than later on.

And yes, do practise your new signature if you’re excited about the change — but just remember: on the day of your ceremony, you must sign using the name you currently use. Don’t worry — we’ll remind you of this just before the signing!

So when your big day comes, take a deep breath, enjoy the moment, and leave the name change paperwork until after the confetti has settled.

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A Galactic Surprise: G & J’s May 4th Star Wars Wedding

 

A Galactic Surprise: G & J’s May 4th Star Wars Wedding

Some weddings leave a little sparkle behind, and some leave you wondering if you’ve just stepped into another galaxy. G & J’s wedding on May 4th 2025 (yes—May the Fourth) did just that, complete with lightsabers, stormtrooper, and a soundtrack from the dark side.

When I first met G and J through their fabulous wedding co-ordinator at their venue, The beautiful Manor House, Alsager, https://www.manorhousealsager.com/ I could already sense how much thought and personality they were pouring into their big day. What I didn’t expect was the full Star Wars-inspired surprise that J had in store for her Groom.

Just before the Bride made her entrance, the ceremony paused as Darth Vader and his Stormtrooper, arranged in secret by J, marched down the aisle. The violinist, Joanne Dodd (Cave Violinist Cave Violinist) keeping perfectly in theme, played a beautiful rendition of the Imperial March. The look on G’s face? Utterly speechless—captured perfectly by Helen Cotton Photography https://www.helencottonphotography.co.uk/weddings)

Darth Vader & Storm Trooper waiting to surprise the Groom

Speaking of vows, both G and J wrote their own, and G couldn’t resist weaving in some subtle Star Wars references. It was heartfelt, humorous, and perfectly them. Including something like, "I am yours now and always, in this galaxy and the next", his words got both laughter and tears from the guests. 

I might share a full excerpt in a future post if readers are curious.

Weddings like this remind me why I love what I do—each ceremony is a story, and this one had all the magic (and a touch of sci-fi mischief) a registrar / celebrant could hope for.

Star Wars Inspired Cake

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Would You Go Themed?

This wedding made me wonder: have you ever attended a themed wedding? Maybe a touch of Harry Potter, a 1920s Gatsby moment, or even a whimsical woodland theme?

And more importantly—would you ever consider a theme for your own day?

I’d also love to know: what are your thoughts on writing your own vows, and even referencing your favourite fandom or film? Would you go traditional, or lean into personalisation like G and J did?

Let me know in the comments—I love hearing these stories!

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